How Am I Supposed To Live Without You
by angel-in-chains
Summary: Don't want to give it away so will just say that I hope you enjoy it. Shows how things could have been very different. First fanfic so please be gentle.
1. Default Chapter

TITLE: How Am I Supposed To Live Without You  
  
AUTHOR: Gill Shaw  
  
RATING: PG  
  
GENRE: Short Story A/U  
  
DISCLAIMER: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is the property of Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. Any other characters belong to me!  
  
FEEDBACK: Positive feedback is always welcome and appreciated. I don't mind negative feedback, provided you leave your email address. If you feel the need to point out errors and typos, please do it via email). Thanks! THANKS: A very big thanks to my wonderful beta Daphne McClenning  
  
SUMMARY: Don't want to give it away so will just say that I hope you enjoy it. Shows how things could have been very different. First fanfic so please be gentle. R&R. Reference is made to the song "How am I supposed to live without you" by Michael Bolton.  
  
SMK-SMK-SMK-SMK-SMK-SMK-SMK-SMK-SM-SMK-SMK-SMK-SMK-SMK-SMK  
  
I could hardly believe it When I heard the news today I had to come and get it straight from you They said you were leavin' Someone's swept you heart away  
  
As soon as Lee arrived back to the Agency he knew what he had to do. His time in Europe had made it so much clearer. After two and a half years of working with Amanda he realised he had grown to care about her a great deal maybe on some level he loved her. Sure he had taken the first European case that had came along but only because he was unsure of the new feelings he was experiencing and their near kiss had scared him even more. Could Lee "the no commitment, care free bachelor" really be falling for an all American housewife?  
  
As he walked through the Bullpen he thought to himself "If only I had known that the case was going to take 6 months then I would never have gone. Quick job, my ass. Dr. Smyth was going to pay for this one. Everything had gone down hill from the second he agreed to take the case. When Billy told him he had to leave immediately and was under contact ZERO he was too late to pull out and never got the chance to say good-bye to Amanda.  
  
When Lee reached Billy's office he knocked and walked straight in. He wanted to see Amanda as soon as he could. He sat down and waited for Bill to finish with his call.  
  
"Of course, I'll be there. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Yes, I'll be sure to let him know. Good-bye" After he hung up Billy greeted Lee.  
  
"Welcome back, Scarecrow, thought you had grown tired of old DC." he chuckled.  
  
"Could we get on with this, I would like to see Amanda before she goes home for the night, " said Lee 'Although if I had to drop by her house would it really be such a bad thing? ' He thought to himself.  
  
"Sorry Lee, but Amanda isn't in today and won't be due back for another month or so. That was her on the phone there. There's no easy way to tell you this because I know how much Amanda means to you but...  
  
"But what Billy? What's happened? Lee was growing more anxious by the second. Had she been hurt in the field without Lee to back her up? Or was she leaving because she had found something better to do than the spy business? Finally his questions were answered after what had seemed an eternity.  
  
"She won't be back until late august because she'll be on her honeymoon!! Amanda's getting married Lee! "  
  
"And he's quiet a catch even if I do say so myself, " interrupted Francine as she burst into Billy's office. " I never thought getting drugged on the simplest assignment and landing yourself in the hospital would get such a fine doctors attention but, then again I never thought such a fine doctor would be attracted to a package deal !!! "  
  
"Can it, Francine warned Billy.  
  
Lee's head was spinning from all this new information. But he knew what he had to do. He would go home, freshen up and head over to Maplewood Drive.  
  
TBC 


	2. Default Chapter 2

From the look upon your face I see its true So tell me all about it Tell me ' bout the plans your making  
  
After the last bedroom light had gone out and he knew Dotty was tucked up in bed he decided to leave his car and knock on the backdoor. He stood for a moment watching Amanda flicking through a magazine. " She is beautiful. I don't know why I didn't see it before" thought Lee. Her hair had grown a little longer and the curls now rested gently on her shoulders. As he looked closer he saw she was twisting her engagement ring, a sign he knew that Amanda was thinking hard about something as she had a tendency to play with her jewellery when she was contemplating an idea.  
  
Lee gently knocked on the window. Amanda looked up at him somewhat startled. She slowly rose and came to the door.  
  
"Hi, Lee" she said somewhat quietly " Hi Amanda, I eh... I just wanted to stop by to say, well, Hi and that that's me back from Europe," "So I see, well do you wanna come in?" "Sure I'd like that, thanks"  
  
Amanda walked over to the table and sat down, Lee noticed that she placed her left hand under the table but didn't say anything. He had been in this kitchen so many times but know felt like a stranger to the home and Amanda.  
  
"So how was Europe Lee?" Amanda asked. "We got everything wrapped up nicely. I missed you Amanda and I'm sorry I didn't get to say good-bye to you. So how have you been? I hear congratulations are order" "Yeh, thank you and I really missed you too Lee. I hope you'll come to the wedding." "So tell me all about him, tell me bout the plans your making?"  
  
They spoke together for an hour or so then Lee left. As he sat in the 'Vette he realised that the plans Amanda is making with Robert should be being made with him. He wanted the ranch with Amanda, the chance to call Philip and Jamie his sons but most of all he wanted to wake up each morning holding Amanda in his arms. As he put on the radio a song came on that he recognised and he turned it up full blast  
  
"Tell me How Am I Supposed To Live Without You Now that I've been lovin' you for so long How am I supposed to live with you And how am I supposed to carry on When all that I've been living for is gone "  
  
"This is exactly how I feel and I want Amanda to know that I love her." Lee thought, "I have to tell her now before I chicken out," So Lee made a U- turn and went back to the one he loved.  
  
TBC 


	3. Default Chapter 3

"I'm too proud for cryin' Didn't come here to breakdown It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end"  
  
Lee saw that all the lights were out and so he done the only rational thing he could. He started to climb the trellis outside Amanda's room. When he got to the window he banged on the window with a thousand thoughts running through his mind. His head told him that he might wake up the whole house but his heart didn't care because he LOVED Amanda King!!! He wanted to shout it from the rooftops!! Finally Amanda came to the window and unlocked it.  
  
"Lee, what the heck are you doing?" "Amanda I had to see you and I have to tell you something. I had a lot of time to think about us and everything else in Europe and well.... I love you. Amanda I have for a very long time and hearing you make those plans with Robert well I got jealous because you should be making them with me instead. I don't want to now what my life would be like if you didn't love me back. Well... Say something Amanda" " What do you want me to say? I had time to think about our near miss kiss too and." "And I hope to get many more none interrupted kisses" said Lee as he moved closer to Amanda "No Lee. I didn't mean it like that. I love you too and I'll always love you but I'm in love with Robert. I'm sorry Lee but you're too late.  
  
Lee just sat on Amanda's bed not knowing what to say or wither his legs would hold him if he stood up. Finally he got to his feet and made his way over to the window to leave. " I hope we can still be friends Lee and that you'll still come to the wedding" "How can I watch you marrying someone else when I know it should be me that you are standing next to. You'll be a beautiful bride Amanda" and with that said he climbed down and made his way over to his car, got in and sped away, leaving Amanda standing at her window with a silent tear running down her cheek.  
  
In the car, Lee was driving as fast as he could to get home. "How the hell could I really think that someone as beautiful as Amanda would ever want me? You took to long Scarecrow and know you have lost the best thing to ever happen to you!" As he leaned forward to change to radio station, Lee never noticed the truck swerving towards him until it was too late.  
  
"Ahh, what the hell?" Lee sat up in a cold sweat. His heart was beating wildly; it was so real he could have sworn it was true. "What's wrong sweetheart?" said the woman who was no longer sleeping at his side. "Did you have a bad dream?" "No this was more of a nightmare, but it's ok now just go back to sleep baby" "Ok if you're sure, I love you" "I love you too, Amanda " said Lee as Amanda cuddled into him. He kissed her head and felt her breath even out. "And did I ever tell you how glad I am that you wouldn't let me go to Europe alone all those years ago?"  
  
And with that said, the Stetsons fell asleep holding each other with promises to never let go. 


End file.
